My December
by LariaKaiba
Summary: Christmas time around Domino doesn't find everyone happy. Ryou Bakura, unhappy with life, tries to find his place. Numb he faintly tries to find a way out from the inside. Finding somewhere to belong is not always easy but in the end it doesnt even matter
1. By Myself

**---Another new Angst story from me! I was listening to one of my Linkin Park CD's one morning when I was out delivering papers. 4:30 a.m. and Linkin Park make for some interesting Plot Bunnies. Behold this story. **

**Disclaimers: I own not Yugioh, or Linkin Park**

**Warnings: (_I don't want to give away the story right now so that means I'll give you the warnings for the chapter in the chapter, but if you've read my other angst stories, you'll know a few future warnings_.) slight shonen-ai. **

**I dedicate this story to my sisters Windy-chan and Mikari because they are always there when I'm down, and are always there to help me back up. Love you both. Enjoy the fic. ---**

* * *

**Chapter One**

**By Myself**

A light snow fell silently around Domino City. There was already a good couple of inches collected on the ground. Malik didn't know about it though, nor did he care as he snuggled deeper into the warm blanket around him.

It was the first day of Christmas Vacation. Malik was more then happy to spend the day off inside his warm house. He sat in front of his fireplace, lazily watching the golden flames dance inside the hearth.

It was nice to be alone for a bit. His sister, Isis and step-brother, Rishid were away in Egypt over the holiday. He wished that Bakura, the spirit of the Millennium Ring would leave Ryou and go away for the holiday. Malik thought it would be good for the white haired hikari to get some alone time also.

What Malik didn't know, however, was that Ryou was alone. Bakura had been distracted by the snow and Ryou had the prefect opportunity to sneak out of the house. The hikari had been wondering around the streets of Domino since then.

He eventually found his way to the park. It looked so beautiful; everything was frosted with a new layer of snow. Ryou walked quietly though the park, not wanting to disturb the peacefulness around.

The white haired teen made his way over to the swing set. Brushing away the soft snow, he sank into a swing. He could really feel the cold now. He pulled his coat tightly around his thin form, trying to prevent more heat from escaping his body.

Ryou didn't know how long he'd been out in the cold, but he was sure it was longer then he should have been. He didn't want to go home, for anything. He hated his home, with all the disappointing memories it held.

He hated sitting around waiting for his father to come home, knowing only that he would never again come home and that Ryou would never again see his father's smiling face.

But the thing he hated most of all was who would be waiting for him to get home. Bakura. The sadistic tomb robber who had murdered his family, destroyed his life, and stole his innocence. It wasn't very often Bakura used and abused Ryou, but when he did... Ryou shuddered at the thought.

Ryou stood up and shook some of the snowflakes from his long locks. He decided to head home. He probably would freeze to death if he stayed out any longer. He sighed and slowly made his way home.

It started to snow harder as the sun began to disappear behind the tall buildings of Domino. Ryou shivered as he trudged though the layers of snow that collected on the ground.

Ryou didn't mind. He loved to get away from his dark and he never got too often. There was a down side to being by himself though. It made him realize just how lonely he really was.

"Ryou?"

The white haired teen stopped dead in his tracks. Was he hearing things? Ryou looked up and noticed he was right in front of the Ishtar house. Malik was standing in the doorway with no coat or shoes.

"You look frozen." Malik titled his head to the other hikari.

"I-I'm f-f-fine." Ryou said, shivering visibly.

"Why don't you come inside and warm up." Malik offered, "I just made some hot coco."

"Thanks, but I need to be g-getting home."

"I won't take no for an answer." Malik said smiling, "Now get your scrawny ass over here."

Ryou sighed and followed the blond in. He sucked in his breath as the warm air hit his frigid skin. Malik closed the door behind Ryou. This was only Ryou's third time in the Ishtar house. They were friends, but only really talked during school.

Ryou stood there for an awkward second. Malik then came over and helped the other teen with his coat. Then the Egyptian showed Ryou to the living room. It was lit dimly by the fire that was slowly burning out.

Malik offered Ryou a seat and then disappeared into the other room. Ryou sat down on the couch, leaning back into its warm touch. He curled up in a small ball shivering, he was still very cold. Malik soon returned with two mugs of hot coco. He handed one to Ryou and sat down on the couch next to him, pulling a blanket over them.

"How long were you out there?" Malik asked feeling how cold the other teen's skin was.

"I lost track." Ryou said, politely sipping his coco. The two sat quietly drinking their coco. Malik finished his first and sat his empty mug on the coffee table in front of him. Ryou looked down at his mug that was still half full. "I shouldn't be here."

"Where else are you going to go?" Malik asked. Ryou looked up at the blond. "I know you won't go home, not with Bakura there."

"I-I don't know..." Ryou said taking a big gulp of coco trying to hide his tears behind his mug.

"So you'd rather freeze?"

Ryou sighed as he lowered his mug. Malik took it in his hands and sat it next to his on the coffee table. The blond wrapped his arm around his friend. Ryou leaned into him, letting his tears fall. Malik slowly stroked the others long locks.

"I don't want to be by myself." Ryou sniffed softly. "I hate being alone."

"Hush, tenshi." Malik cooed, "You never have to be alone, you are always welcome here."

"Thanks." Ryou looked up at his friend wiping away his tears. Malik placed a soft kiss on Ryou's forehead.

"Anytime."

Ryou snuggled closer to the blond. For the rest of the night the two just stayed there talking. Eventually the fire burned out completely and the two teens fell asleep on the couch in each other's arms.

* * *

**---I don't like how short my chapters are (_Sigh_). **

**Pretty peaceful beginning. Don't get used to it. Things in my stories aren't always what they seem. ---**


	2. Points of Authority

**---Bye, bye Christmassy feel... bye, bye.**

**Warnings: blood, torture, cutting, all that you expect from Ryou abuse.**

**Did I mention how much I don't like Ryou abuse... it's too over used... why am I writing this? Better yet why are you reading this and not the story...? ---**

* * *

**Chapter Two**

**Points of Authority**

Ryou awoke the next morning and squinted into the rays of sun that penetrated the curtained window. He closed his eyes again and cuddled closer to the warm body beneath him. He didn't ever want to move. But greater forces said otherwise.

Ryou groaned softly as he remembered where he was. He opened his eyes again and looked up at Malik, he was still sleeping peacefully. Trying not to make to much movement Ryou carefully wriggled his way out of Malik grasp, not wanting to wake the other teen.

The white haired hikari looked down at his friend and frowned. He didn't want to leave but he already knew Bakura would be mad at him for not coming home last night. He leaned over and placed a light kiss on Malik's cheek.

"Arigatou." he whispered and without another word he grabbed his coat and quietly left the Ishtar house.

The streets of Domino were silent, it was still very early. Ryou swiftly made his way toward his house though the thick snow that came halfway to his knees. Unshed tears shown in the lights eyes as he stepped up to his front door, fear trembled though his body.

Ryou slowly opened the door, glancing around the living room. There was no sign of anyone. He stepped inside and brushed some of the snow off him. The door closed behind him with a snap. The light jumped and looked over his shoulder, no one. He took a few deep breathes to calm his nerves.

Without a sound he took off his shoes and coat and laid them by the door. He then made his way though the house to his room. He was getting a very ominous feeling, why wasn't there anyone home.

_...yadonushi..._

Ryou stopped dead in his tracks as his yamis whisper filtered though his mind. A chill fell over the light, he couldn't feel Bakura's presences... but he could hear the dark. With a few more deep breaths he finally made it to his room.

"My, my little light, aren't we late."

Ryou stopped over the threshold to his room. He could see his yami smirking from within the darkness. All the windows in the house had been covered. No light could penetrate the house, with the exception of the one standing in the door way.

The yami beckoned his hikari in. Ryou entered his mind to clouded with fear to think otherwise. The dark and light stood face to face, a mirror of each other.

"I love the way you look at me." The yami caressed Ryou's cheek. The light trembled under the darks touch. "I hate to mar such beauty."

"Then why?" The hikari whispered.

"Why?" The yami licked away one of his counterparts tear as it fell. "Wrong doings deserve punishment."

"I did nothing wrong."

"You disobeyed me and now you're lying to my face." The spirit growled. "I think we need another lesson of who's in charge."

Ryou eyes widened when Bakura pulled a long knife from his back pocket. He licked the cool blade, watching his hikari intently. Ryou tried to get away from his the yami, but the dark was quicker. Bakura grabbed Ryou's arm in a tight grip. The hikari hissed at the sudden pain.

Bakura pulled Ryou close, pressing the knife below his ear, just below his jaw line. Ryou whimpered as Bakura pressed the sharp blade deep to his skin, but not enough to cut.

"Aren't we a bundle of trouble today?" The spirit sneered. Ryou did his best to hold back as more and more tears flooded his chocolate eyes.

"I'm s-sorry Bakura." The like choked out. "I j-just... I-I don't..."

"Don't what, yadonushi?" The dark asked slowly moving the knife down Ryou's jaw line, just hard enough to produce a thin red line.

"I don't want to hurt anymore." The light whispered. The spirit merely laughed as he threw his counterpart hard to the floor. Bakura pinned Ryou down with one hand while he cut open the lights shirt with the other. The dark ran both his hands down the trembling chest.

"You think this hurt?" The spirit asked. The pale skin underneath his fingers was littered with scars. "You do not even know the meaning of true pain."

Bakura looked up as his hikari, pools of unshed tears shown in his eyes.

"Pain is losing _everyone_ you know." The dark placed the point of the knife under Ryou's right eye and made a horizontal cut, causing the tears to fall. The light hissed as the salty tears rolled over the fresh cut. Bakura did the same thing to the other eye. "To watch hopelessly as your family, friends... everyone you care about being slaughtered... sacrificed... just so some pharaoh could make some gold jewelry."

Ryou remembered all the stories he had heard from his yami about the creation of the Millennium Items, and the destruction of the thief village, Kuru Eruna. Bakura had never shared the images of the past with his light. He decided that now was a good time to show the boy just what it was like to live though the massacre.

Ryou squeezed his eyes shut in pain as the knife glided slowly over his pale chest. Visions of the Kuru Eruna flashed past the lights eyes. The Pharaoh's High Priest and the best of his army riding into the quiet thief village. There was a moment of disorientation as little Bakura ran to safety, and then you could see the attack.

The knife danced faster over Ryou's chest as the visions became more intense. Blood pooled on the Egyptian sands as bodies were killed and thrown in with molten gold. There were so many. They didn't just kill them they tortured the men and raped the women. The images bleared as tears came too little Bakura's eyes.

Ryou pleaded for the images to stop. Tears rolled continually down his cheeks, mixing with the blood. Even if the images weren't clear anymore you could still see the blood, you could still see the bodies; you could still hear the tortured screams.

The light couldn't tell if Bakura was still cutting, are if he was even there. His whole body had gone numb. He opened his eyes to look around but that didn't help, he could still see the images in the back of his mind.

When the spirit felt his hikari had enough he let the images fade. He sat back, looking down at Ryou. Blood trickled down Ryou's sides unto the carpet below. His eyes were open and glazed over in pain, a few tears still fell.

Bakura leaned over and ran his tongue over the boy's chest. The hikari let out a soft purr as the dark's saliva stung the fresh cuts. Bakura made his way up the lights body to his mouth, kissing me gently, the others blood still on his lips. Ryou kissed back hungrily, wanting more of the coppery taste.

"Do we know who's in charge now?" the dark asked, breaking the kiss. The hikari nodded his head and mumbled something incoherent. Bakura smirked and gave the light on more peck before disappearing into the Millennium Ring.

_...sweet dreams, yadonushi..._

* * *

**---Poor Ryou...**

**It gets better... the story, not Ryou's life. ---**


	3. Forgotten

**---I apologize for mistakes (Blame Windy! She beta this! (just kidding (don't hurt me))). **

**Don't feel bad for telling me my mistakes, frankly I'd rather get one or two reviews complaining about my bad grammar and spelling and what not... then a ton of reviews that don't help me at all. **

**Notes:**

**_...blah..._ Bakura talking to Ryou**

**_--blah--_ Marik talking to Malik**

**Warnings: nothing really for this chapter... not much action...**

**Disclaimer: I own not the song "My December"... Linkin Park does... I don't own them either... ---**

**Chapter Three**

**Forgotten**

The light stirred but didn't fully wake up. He wrapped the blanket closer to him, something felt wrong - missing. He opened his eyes and glanced around the room. Nothing was out of place. He yawned and remembered the events of last night.

Malik got up and stretched; the couch was not very comfy to sleep on. He looked around for Ryou, but didn't find him, or any of his belongings. Malik sighed. Ryou was gone now.

Ryou had always been an object of Malik's interest. The other light do pure and innocent, it made something deep inside him twist with envy. Something dark; controlling... Something he thought he had gotten rid of...

_--I'm back--_

Malik jumped. He was brought back to reality when there was a knock on the door. He quickly made his way toward the door and opened it, narrowing his eyes.

"Bakura," the blond growled, "Where's Ryou?"

"Since when have you become so protective of the boy?" the spirit sneered.

"I care about Ryou," Malik said, "Unlike you."

"I care," Bakura advanced on Malik, "And if you truly care, you'd stay away from him."

"I'm just making sure you don't hurt him."

"The only time I hurt him is when he disobeys me."

"I just want to protect the innocent little thing. He holds a _special_ place in my heart."

There was something different about how the blond had said that. Bakura looked closely at him. He saw insanity in his eyes.

"Marik," he hissed. The blond grinned viscously, showing off his pointed teeth. "You better stay away from my hikari."

"No one can resist the powers of my Rod." Marik said lazily.

"Leave your Millennium Item out of this." Bakura growled at the other spirit.

"No one said anything about Millennium Items." Marik smirked. Bakura looked repulsed.

"You sick bastard."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." The blond purred, running his fingers though Bakura's long locks. Bakura backed away, seething. "Don't tell me _you_ haven't used the boy."

Bakura didn't answer.

"Should I take that as yes?" asked Marik.

"Lay one hand on the boy and so help me-"

"Save you're threats, raider. They don't scare me. I've heard it all before." Marik yawned, "Don't worry about the light. I won't take him unless he comes to me."

The blond chuckled. Bakura just left without saying another word.

Ryou lay alone on the floor of his room until he was sure his veins could bleed no more blood, his eyes could shed no more tears, and his body could hurt no more then it already did. He stared up at the ceiling, unable to close his eyes in fear of seeing of the images of Kuru Eruna once again.

The light slowly sat up. He was extremely careful not to reopen any of the cuts. As soon as he was fully upright, he looked down at his wounded chest. The cuts didn't really have a pattern and were just random over his pale skin.

Ryou licked his dry lips; there was still a faint trace of blood on them. He knew he had been abused too many times now that he was starting to enjoy the taste of the crimson liquid. He wasn't sure why he would always succumb to the spirit.

Ryou carefully picked himself off the floor and carried himself to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and waited for it to warm up. He leaned against the wall, pain growing in his chest. He stripped off his pants and boxers and stepped under the warm water, hissing as it stung his wounds.

He dropped to his knees and curled up in one of the corners of the shower. The water beating down on him masked the wave of fresh tears.

"_This is my December; this is my time of the year_." Ryou sang quietly to himself while he watched the shower floor turn from red to pink as the water washed away his blood. "_This is my December, this is all so clear._"

Ryou buried his face in his arms as old memories of Christmas flooded his mind, tearing at his heart.

"_This is my December, this is my snow covered home_." Christmas had always been his favorite holiday. His father always came home. They would spend all of Christmas break together. That was until Ryou received the Ring. But now... "_This is my December, this is me alone_."

As soon as the water ran clear, Ryou stood up and turned off the shower. He shivered when the cold air hit his wet skin as he stepped out and grabbed a towel. He quickly dried off and wrapped the towel around his waist. He continued to sing as he made his way to his room.

"_And I... just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed... and I... take back all the things I said to make you feel like that_." It had also been this time when his father was killed. A few days after getting the Ring as an early Christmas present, Ryou had said some things to piss off Bakura. The consequences were almost more then he could bear. "_And I... just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed... and I... take back everything that I said to you_."

Ryou's dark room was the coldest in the house. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He could smell the blood on the floor. Even though he couldn't see anything inside the room, he knew right where everything was.

"_And I... give it all away... just to have somewhere to go to_..." Ryou sat down on his small bed, "_And I... give it all away... to have someone to come home to_."

Pulling the thin blanket over his naked form, he sang one last line before falling asleep.

"_This is my December; these are my snow covered dreams... This is me pretending... this all I need..._"

**---Anyone bored yet?**

**Damn you short chapters---**


	4. Run Away

**---Windy-chan, you little Grammar Nazi, must you always remind me how bad my stuff is BEFORE you beta it. -.- I already know my stories suck.**

**Toothy One, nice seeing you again, thanks for all the wonderful comments... I'll keep them in mind for the future gives you cookie**

**Lil-Riter****, All chapter titles for this fic are LP song titles. I couldn't fit as many of them into the summary as I would have liked cause there was a limit. But I put all the major parts into it. I think. **

**Oh my god! Look this chapter is slightly longer then the others. Five pages, can it be so? **

**Notes: a sphinx cat is hairless**

**Disclaimer: why yes I do own Mr. Fuzzy and compressed rabbit food... but that's about it (this will all make sense in the end(**

**Warnings: clichéd Ryou abuse (got to love it)---**

* * *

**Chapter Four**

**Run Away**

Malik huddled in a corner of his Soul Room. He wasn't very fond of his Soul Room; it reminded him too much of his childhood years. The years of living underground away from the modern world; away from basic needs, like the sun.

His Soul Room consisted of four stone walls. The floor was hard and covered by a thin layer of sand; it was too dark to tell if there was actually a ceiling. Malik guessed there wasn't because he could feel a cold wind on him sometimes.

The room held no light, save for the small candle that eternally burned in the middle of the room. There was only one other thing in the room besides himself and the candle; a stuffed sphinx cat plushie, Mr. Fuzzy. Malik had always had Mr. Fuzzy ever since he was a kid.

Malik crawled over to the plushie and pulled it into his arms. He looked around the room. He was scared. The only time he was ever trapped here was when Marik was in control, and he had no way of knowing what was happening outside.

Hugging the plushie close to him, he backed into the corner. He felt so small in this room, like a child, and also alone. He held onto the plushie for security, as if he would be stricken down if he let go.

He closed his eyes and rocked slowly back and forth. He prayed that he would be let out soon, and that Marik wasn't causing too much trouble in the real world.

* * *

The dark spirit stood over the threshold to his light's room. Ryou was still sleeping. Bakura leaned against the door frame watching. A small beam of moonlight shone though a crack in the wooden panels that had been put up on the windows to keep out the light. It fell over Ryou, alighting his angelic features.

A cloud moved over the moon and the light faded and disappeared. Bakura felt a twinge of pain in his heart. The spirit had shed so much darkness on the light's life. He'd tainted his purity; stolen his innocence. Ryou was no longer the angelic person everyone sought him to be. Bakura knew that with just one look of his other's Soul Room.

The light stirred and his eyes opened slowly, meeting the raider's. The two stared into each other's eyes in silence, neither of them wanting to speak to the other. The cloud moved, shining slivery light over Ryou once again.

Bakura growled under his breath and disappeared into the darkness. Ryou cocked his head at the spot where the spirit once stood and rolled over, facing the other direction. He closed his eyes. From his Soul Room, he peeked out to look at the door in front of him; the door to Bakura's soul room. Ryou sighed, closing his door. Blackness fell over him as he went back to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Ryou woke up to a terrible pain. He sat up, clutching his stomach; he hadn't eaten anything in the past few days. He was used to starving himself and not eating much, but the pain still got to him sometimes.

Ryou lay back, curling up in ball. He felt like he was going to throw-up and his whole body hurt even to just move. He clenched his eyes shut, trying to ignore the pain until it passed.

Soon, the pain faded enough until it was bearable and Ryou sat up again. He decided to get something to settle his stomach and climbed out of bed. He stumbled over to his dresser, grabbed a pair of blue boxers and slipped them on.

He continued slowly on his way to the kitchen. His chest was still tender from the day before and the pain in his stomach wouldn't go away.

"I feel like shit," Ryou said quietly to himself as he scanned the kitchen for some food, "I probably look no better."

He went over to a glass jar that sat on the counter and took the lid off. He reached in and grabbed a crunchy oat bar from the jar - compressed rabbit food he'd like to call it - and headed to the family room.

He sat down on the couch, nibbling on the 'compressed rabbit food'. Just the thought of eating made him feel more nauseous, but he forced it down. He soon finished it off, not sure if it made his stomach feel better or worse.

The clock in the kitchen chimed; it was seven in the morning. Ryou sighed. Because of the break he had no school, which meant he had the whole day to do something. But he had nothing to do.

He decided to go over the Malik's to apologize for leaving so early the day before. Maybe they could hang out together for the day. Ryou smiled at the thought. He was sure Bakura wouldn't mind... as long as he got home before it was too late.

Ryou got up and headed back to his room. He didn't know whether it was the food or the thought of being with Malik that made him feel better. Once in his room, he grabbed a pair of clothes that were lying around and put them on, flinching as the fabric of his shirt touched his cuts. He shrugged it off though and went to put on his shoes and coat. Soon he was ready to go.

Ryou nearly jumped out of his skin, however, when he opened the front door to find Bakura standing there with a piercing glare.

"And where do you think you're going, my little light?" The spirit asked the shaking boy in front of him.

"I-I was just going out." Ryou said. It wasn't actually a lie.

"Without my permission?" Bakura smirked at the fear in Ryou's eyes. He knew the light knew exactly where he was '_going out_' to.

"No... I thought-"

"Oh, you're thinking now, are you?" Bakura said, walking closer to his other, forcing him back inside the house. "Did you ever think that you'd be breaking one of my rules? Or are not capable of something that advanced?"

Ryou stared at the spirit, tears coming to his eyes with the verbal assault.

"You want to know what I think?" Bakura asked. Ryou shook his head carefully. "I think you were headed out to Malik... which is against my rules. And you know what happens when you disobey the rules."

"That's not a rule!" Ryou protested.

"It is now." the raider smiled.

"You can't do that!"

Bakura backhanded Ryou. A few tears fell from the lights eyes as he clutched his cheek.

"You are not in the position to be telling me what I can and cannot do, boy." Bakura growled raising his hand again, "Now you listen to me, yadonushi, you will not visit, contact, or see Malik in any way, shape or form whatsoever. Do I make myself clear?"

Ryou didn't answer; he whimpered and looked away from the spirit. Bakura grabbed Ryou, shaking him violently and forcing him to look into his eyes.

"_Do I make myself clear_?" Bakura asked forcefully. Ryou nodded meekly and the dark let go of him.

"Why are you so bent on making my life a living hell?" Ryou asked angrily.

"Hell?" Bakura repeated thoughtfully. "You know nothing of hell."

"Then why are you taking everything I care about away from me!?" Ryou cried.

"I'm just merely trying to protect you." Bakura shrugged. "I just get a little taken away at times."

"A little taken away!?" Ryou shrieked, "You got a little taken away when you put all my friends in a coma!? When you killed my father!? When you-"

Bakura slapped Ryou again, this time with enough force to send him to the floor. Then he kicked Ryou in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. Ryou curled up into a ball, coughing.

"Listen, you pathetic little thing," Bakura growled, "I don't know why I waste my time with you. But god forbids you disobey me one more time and you will wish you were in hell."

Ryou looked up at Bakura with tearful eyes. His cheek was bright red, and he was trembling, still trying to catch his breath. He made a noise like the mix between a mumble a whimper and groan and then instantly scampered to his room. Bakura heard the door slam shut. Bakura walked over to Ryou room and placed a hand on the closed door.

"Ryou, I'm sorry," Bakura whispered just loud enough so he could hear it. "But you wouldn't believe me if I told you."

* * *

Inside the light's room, Ryou lay on his bed crying. He hugged his pillow close to him as the tears leak from his eyes. Bakura had taken so much away from him already, and now he was going to take away the only person that cared about him.

Ryou couldn't stand it anymore.

He looked around his room for a way out, _any_ way out. There was a pair of scissors lying underneath his desk. He moved to the edge of his bed and reached over for them when he saw something. Light shining on the blade of the scissors. He looked over to where the light was coming from, the crack in the paneling on the windows.

Ryou grabbed the scissors and went over to the window. Peeking out, he could faintly see the roof and tree. He could climb out the window; he could go to Malik's. Ryou wiped away his tears, smiling eagerly. He could go to Malik's.

He carefully and quietly used the scissors to take out the nails holding the wooden boards up. As soon as he had taken enough down to get out the window he put the scissors in his back pocket and slipped out the window into the snow on the roof. Praying he hadn't made too much noise, he made his way over the tree. He grabbed one of the branches and climbed down until he was sure he was a safe distance away from the ground so he wouldn't hurt himself.

He jumped down into the soft snow on the ground. He stood up and brushed off some of the cold powder. Then he quickly and quietly left the yard, practically sprinting to Malik's.

* * *

**---maniacal laughter is heard while lighting flashes in the background as I go off to write more _My December_---**


	5. Place for My Head

**---Oh, so many great reviews I don't know what to comment on first.**

**Everyone seems to be waiting to see what Marik is up too... (Evil grin)**

**Toothy One, I haven't been able to add you to my list yet... MSN seems to be hating me. (kicks it) try adding me (kuroi (underscore) yasha (a) hot mail . com** **). If anyone else wants to talk to me and has MSN messenger you can add me, I love to talk to people and I'm on most all the time. **

'**_Yadonushi_' means Landlord. '_Omote_' means Surface. '_Hikari_' means Light. '_Baka_' means Stupid/Fool/Idiot (not sure if I have or will use this).**

**Warnings: Shonen-ai, some fluffiness (I'm so going soft (curse you John))**

**Disclaimer: Takahashi stole my ideas so I'm going to steal his!**

* * *

**Chapter Five**

**Place for My Head**

"Omote."

The name filtered though the darkness. Malik looked up to see Marik standing on the other side of his Soul Room, leaning against the wall. Malik huddled further into the corner as Marik walked over to him.

"Are we being a good little light?" Marik asked, kneeling in front of the other.

"I want to be pushed aside," Malik said quietly, barely above a whisper. "So let me go."

"But I'm having oh-so-much fun controlling you," Marik smirked, "Aren't _you_ having fun? Sitting back, watching your days pass before. Though, you're not actually watching, considering all you have is these four walls."

"Let me take back my life," said Malik in a daze, "I'd rather be all alone."

Malik closed his eyes tightly as Marik laughed.

"Anywhere on my own, because I can see," Malik continued, "The very worst part of you is-"

"Wake up, omote," Marik whispered, "You have a visitor."

"Me..."

* * *

Ryou knocked on Malik's front door. He waited a minute or so and then wondered that maybe the Egyptian wasn't home. Ryou frowned at the thought. He didn't have anywhere else to go and there was no way he could back home. He knocked on the door again softly, not wanting to seem rude or impatient. The door opened to reveal a dazed looking Malik. 

"Ryou!" said Malik alarmed after getting a good look at the other teen. Ryou had two cuts under his eyes, which were red from crying, and his cheek was bruised. Malik also noticed a few blood stains on his shirt.

"H-hey Malik." Ryou said in a quiet tone despite how shocked the other teen looked.

"What happened!?" Malik asked as Ryou stepped in out of the cold. Malik shut the door behind him.

"B-Ba..." was all Ryou could get out before bursting into tears. Malik pulled his friend into his arms to comfort him. Malik ran his fingers through Ryou's hair as he cooed softly in his ear, trying to calm him. Ryou pulled back and looked up to Malik with his tearful doe eyes.

"Come inside." offered Malik. Ryou nodded.

"B-Bakura was really m-mad." Ryou said slowly, taking off his coat and shoes, following Malik to the living room, "Be-because I came here."

The living room had no lights on; it was lit only by the morning sun shining through the windows. Malik sat down on the couch and Ryou sat down with him.

"He was mad that I disobeyed him..." Ryou trailed off. "He-he-he..."

"Shh." Malik could see the tears welling up again. "You don't have to tell me."

But Ryou did; he wanted to get it off his chest. The images still taunted him in the back of his mind. Ryou turned his head away so Malik couldn't see the tears fall.

"He cut me... and he s-showed..."

Malik moved so he could see Ryou's face. He wiped the tears away as they fell.

"He showed me Kuru Eruna..." Ryou closed his eyes tightly. Malik looked shocked. "It was so vivid... and... and I can still see it."

"Ryou, open your eyes." Malik said quietly. "Look at me."

Ryou opened his eyes, gazing into Malik's lavender eyes.

"They'll only get to you if you let them." Malik said, caressing Ryou's bruised cheek.

"I-I ran away, Malik," Ryou trembled, "I'm so afraid of what will happen if I go back."

"Then don't go back," Malik said. Ryou looked at him shocked. "Stay here with me. I care for you. I'll keep you safe."

Malik leaned over, kissing the cuts under Ryou's eyes softly, licking away the salty tears.

"Malik I-"Ryou began but was interrupted when Malik covered his mouth, kissing him softly. He was startled at first and then felt something spark inside. He closed his eyes and kissed back timidly, every coherent thought leaving his mind. After a bit, Malik broke the kiss. Ryou gave a small smile.

"Ryou, I think I love you," Malik whispered, his tan cheeks tinged with pink.

"Me too," Ryou whispered back. Malik smiled and gave Ryou another kiss. Soft, but more intensive.

In the darkness in the back of Malik's mind, Marik smirked. All his pieces were falling right into place.

* * *

**---Yeah yeah, short.---**


	6. Cure for the Itch

**---Alright kiddies I'll be raising the rating on this story now. It be 'R' now. **

**And now for the chapter you've all been waiting for... Marik's evil plan!**

**Warnings: self-mutilation, rape**

**Disclaimer: I still say Takahashi stole my ideas... ---**

* * *

**Chapter Six**

**Cure for the Itch**

Ryou lay awake in Malik's arm that night. The bedroom was dimly lit by the street light outside the window. It had been a quiet day and neither of the two teens had done much. Ryou had told Malik a lot about how Bakura abused him. He thought it would make him feel better to get it off his chest, but it didn't.

The ivory haired teen sighed. Something felt wrong. Bakura had always told him not tell anyone what he did or he would be severely punished. Ryou was afraid of the punishment - or he had been. Right now he felt like he needed it.

Ryou looked over at Malik, who was sleeping. He had disobeyed Bakura so many times today. Ryou could feel the fear running though his veins. What was he scared of? There was no one around to punish or hurt him.

But that's what he wanted.

He felt something deep inside him that wanted that pain - he wanted to be punished - and that's what scared him. He closed his eyes when he felt Malik stir. Malik rolled over and went back to sleep.

Ryou sat up, holding his head in his hands. He was so confused; his whole world was spinning. He ran his fingers though his hair, clenching some of his white locks in his fists. What was going on? Why was everything so screwed up? A single tear fell from his chocolate eyes. He quickly wiped it away.

Ryou quietly stood up and looked back to make sure Malik was still asleep. He sighed and let his feet carry him aimlessly though the house.

As soon as the ivory haired teen left the room, Marik opened his violet eyes and grinned.

Eventually, Ryou found himself in the kitchen. The thought of punishment was still fresh in his mind as his eyes fell softly on the knife holder. He walked over to it and gazed fondly at all the black handled knives. He reached out and gripped one of the black handles, pulling it out. It was a fairly good sized blade.

"I need to be punished," Ryou whispered to himself as he stared at the sliver blade. He repeated it again as he placed the cool blade to his arm. "I disobeyed Bakura... I need to be punished."

He slowly moved the knife down his arm and jumped as he felt a twinge of pain. He moved the knife away from him and looked down at his skin. He was sure he had cut, but there was nothing there. He replaced the knife and tried again. He flinched as he pressed the blade harder into his skin.

He moved the knife away and looked down at his arm again. There were a few small drops of blood beading from the cut, but nothing much. Ryou sighed in frustration and sank down to the kitchen floor with the knife. Why was this so hard? He placed the knife over the cut again and made a few quick slashes.

"My, my, Tenshi, why are you hurting yourself?"

Ryou looked up into Marik's cold eyes then down at the cut on his arm that was slowly bleeding. Tears came to his eyes.

"I-I needed to be punished." Ryou whispered, watching the blood.

"That spirit's got you trained well, doesn't he?" Marik chuckled, walking over to Ryou, "I wonder if I can break that."

Ryou looked up at the blonde confused. Marik simpered down at the teen as a tear escaped him and fell down his cheek. Marik kneeled down in front of Ryou, brushing the tear away. He then leaned over and licked the blood off of Ryou's arm.

"Mmm..." Marik sat up, licking his lips, "So sweet."

"M-Marik?" asked Ryou timidly, starting to feel uncomfortable.

"Shhh Tenshi," Marik placed one finger on Ryou's soft lips. He ran his other hand down Ryou's shirt and it disappeared in a puff of black smoke, revealing his scarred chest. Marik moved closer to the teen, pulling him into a kiss.

Ryou went ridged and his eyes widened. After a second he regained his senses and tried to push Marik off him. Marik pulled back in a fake pout.

"You'll kiss my Omote, but you won't kiss me?" Marik growled, "That makes me angry."

Marik smirked down at the boy. He leaned over him again, trailing his tongue down Ryou's neck to his chest.

"S-stop," Ryou pleaded, trying to get away.

"I'm a naughty boy, and I like to go naughty things," Marik drawled, his dark hands playing down Ryou's chest to his pants, "So I can't stop... I won't."

Marik ran his hands over Ryou's pants and they disappeared in another puff of smoke. Ryou squeaked and curled up in a ball to cover himself. Marik merely chuckled as the Millennium Rod appeared in his hand. He waved it over the boy's body. The Rod gleamed brightly and Ryou lost control. His arms and legs fell lifelessly to the floor.

"I bet you're tight like a virgin." Marik said, lifting up one of Ryou's pale legs. Ryou tried to struggle against the blonde, but the Rod was to powerful and he couldn't move at all.

"Marik... Stop it!" Ryou pleaded, thankful he could still use his mouth. Tears poured out of his eyes. But Marik only crawled over Ryou and kissed him again, this time forcing his tongue into the boy's mouth. Ryou glared at the blond and bit his tongue. Marik just grinned and bit Ryou back.

"You don't want me to stop," Marik said running his hands over himself, his own clothes disappeared. Ryou's eyes widened when he saw Marik's erection. Insanity flashed in Marik's dark violet eyes, "You'll warm up to it."

Marik parted Ryou's legs, settling himself between his thighs.

"You're about to fulfill my pleasure," laughed Marik. Ryou closed his eyes and bit his lip hard to keep from screaming as Marik entered him.

* * *

**---And we'll leave it at that...---**


	7. Numb

**---Hey! It's been a while since this has been updated, sorry about that… internet problems you know? (_cowers_) don't hurt me!!**

**Man I made a lot of people mad with the last chapter… And I think ****Hiei's fiancee**** bruised my Marik Muse. **

**Oh yeah, and it's helpful to READ THE WARNING BEFORE you read the chapter, that's why it here at the BEGINNING. Isn't that right Mikari?**

**Warnings: none, pretty boring chapter today.**

**Disclaimer: me owns nothing, if I did I'd be able to pay my beta instead of begging her to do it (Kidding Windy-chan) ---**

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

**Numb**

Bakura awoke suddenly. He thought he had felt a wave of distress wash over him. He sat up and looked around his Soul Room franticly. It was empty like always. Was he just feeling things?

He closed his eyes but he couldn't feel Ryou. The light had blocked the link after he had been forbidden to go to Malik's. He strained, but still couldn't break though Ryou's mental defenses. Why were they so guarded?

Bakura opened his eyes again. Something had to be wrong. The dark stood up and materialized himself in the real world. He was right outside Ryou's bedroom door. He reached out for the doorknob and tried to turn it. It was locked. He used the power of the Millennium Ring to open the door.

When the door was opened, Bakura looked into the room with a scowl. The boards had been taken down from the window, bringing the bright morning light into the room, and Ryou was nowhere to be seen. Bakura walked over to the window and looked out. He could tell the Ryou had climbed out, and then there were tracks in the snow leading for Malik's house.

"Shit," Bakura growled. This was definitely not a good thing.

* * *

Ryou lay alone in Malik's kitchen on the cool tiles. As soon as Marik was done with him, he had been given back his clothes and Marik left. Ryou sat up carefully and curled into a small ball. Pain burned through him.

Ryou laid his head down on his arms. He couldn't cry anymore; he couldn't do anything anymore. He felt so empty... so numb.

This wasn't the first time he had been raped. Bakura had done it, many times. It was never as bad as this time. It was as if Bakura tried not to make it hurt so bad. Ryou shook his head at the absurd thought.

No matter where he went, he always got hurt. He came to Malik for safety and comfort and look what happened. He could not escape the pain and torture. Or maybe he could...

Ryou looked around for the knife he had cut with last night, but it was gone. Marik must have taken it. He didn't want Ryou to die; he wanted him alive, but for what?

Ryou knew that he'd have to get out of this house before he could do anything. Would he be able to with Marik lurking around? But Ryou didn't really care; he'd give anything to get out.

Ryou slowly got to his feet, steadying himself on the counter. It hurt to walk. Ryou cringed as he made his way to the living room.

"Ah, tenshi, you're up."

Marik sat in a chair in the living room, grinning at Ryou. The white haired teen growled but didn't look up at the blond.

"Coming to join me?" Marik asked with an acid smile.

"No," Ryou said through clenched teeth.

"Then where are you going, tenshi?" Marik asked, his tone thick with mock concern.

"I want out Marik!" Ryou cried, not sure what the blond would do to him, "I don't want to hurt anymore."

Marik leaned back in his chair, staring at Ryou with his piercing violet orbs.

"Then go," he said lazily.

"Wh-what!?" Ryou looked up shocked; this was not the reaction he was expecting.

"If you want to go, go."

Ryou stood for a moment. There had to be a catch.

"But of course," Marik continued. "Where would you go?"

Ryou cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"You have no other friends," Marik grinned, "And you'd be worse off going back to Bakura."

That was true; he didn't have anyone else that cared about him. If he was to go back to Bakura, he'd be beaten again, or worse. Then again he didn't know what was to become of him if he stayed here.

"Decisions, decisions."

Ryou glanced from Marik to the front door and heaved a sigh as he made up his mind.

* * *

**---hmm... what will I do next---**


	8. Easier to Run

**---Oh so many wonderful reviews, I want to comment on them all, but I don't want my notes to be too long... I'll see what I can do.**

**Sure you don't need payment Windy-chan; it'll help you get your Tarot Cards XP**

**Man... I have vicious fans... first you beat up my Marik-muse, now you beat up my cliffhangers...**

**Microwaved Ryou? Hmm... Haven't tried that one yet... Hehehe...**

**Yes, I am a fan of Linkin Park, I don't know about being a huge fan... Anyways, Zari, your review was a little hard to read, but I deciphered it. What songs have I used that are unreleased? All the titles I got were from "Hybrid Theory", "Reanimation" and "Meteora"**

**Take as long as you want to review Mikari-chan, there's a lot you have that I haven't reviewed yet...**

**Disclaimer: I've found another picture of Seto with long hair... it's a conspiracy I tell you!**

**Warnings: Twisted things from my mind, and death (I haven't gone too soft) ---**

* * *

**Chapter Eight  
****Easier to Run**

Malik, once again, found himself in his Soul Room. He lay on the cold floor, staring up at the endless darkness above him. Blood fell from his eyes like tears; they ran down his face, creating small pools on the stone floor. _Why did this have to happen?_ Malik thought to himself as another bloody tear fell.

Images of Ryou flashed in the back of his mind. His screams echoed constantly around the Soul Room, along with one thought from Malik.

_It's all my fault..._

Malik had tried with all his might to break out of his Soul Room when Marik had hurt Ryou. He banged on the stone walls until his fists were raw and bleeding, screaming for Marik to let him out, until he had no more energy left. He would have given anything to save his tenshi, but Marik was too strong. Malik hated Marik... but the blonde's hatred only made Marik stronger.

So Malik laid there. He had nothing; he felt so useless.

But of course... Where would you go...?

Malik froze as he listened to Marik talking to Ryou.

You have no other friends... And you'd be worse off going back to Bakura...

Malik closed his eyes as even more bloody tears flooded out. Malik had promised that Ryou would never have to be alone again. He had promised to keep Ryou safe from everything. He couldn't even protect him from himself. Malik had failed Ryou.

Decisions, decisions...

Malik prayed to whatever god that would listen, that Ryou made the right choice...

* * *

Ryou mustered up all the courage he had and looked Marik straight in the eye.

"I'm sick of being hurt by everyone around me," Ryou said, putting all the anger he felt into his words, "All I'm looking for is a way out, and I'll do anything to find it."

Ryou moved to the door and slipped his shoes on quickly. Marik stood up and followed him.

"So you're just going to run away again?" Marik asked with a sinister grin as Ryou reached for the doorknob. Ryou stopped and looked back at the blond.

"It's easier to run." Ryou said quietly. He felt ashamed. He always took the easy way out. Maybe his yami was right all along...

_"Get out here you worthless piece of human filth."_

Ryou could picture Bakura saying that to him. He bit back a sob as he turned away from Marik again, opening the door.

"You always were useless." Marik laughed. Ryou ignored him and stumbled out the door into the cold morning air.

* * *

Bakura ran down the streets of Domino. It was late afternoon by now and he wasn't at Malik's house yet. It didn't help that he'd never been to the house before and he didn't know where it was. The only thing he was relying on was vague hints that he could filter though Ryou strong mental defenses.

He finally saw a house that looked like the same one he got from Ryou's mind. Hoping that it was the right house, he sped up to the front door and knocked loudly. The door slowly opened, revealing Marik with a knife being played with in his hands.

"Ah, Bakura," Marik fleered at the spirit, "Fancy seeing you here."

Bakura glared at the blond and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him close.

"Where is he?" Bakura snarled.

"Who?" Marik asked, not bothering to mask the laughter in his eyes.

"You know who, you fifthly worm!" Bakura yelled, pulling Marik closer and glaring him straight in the eye. Neither of them was threatened by the other.

"That hikari of yours sure is tight," Marik purred, smirking at the expression on Bakura's face, "I would have guessed him to be a virgin... but we both know that isn't true, right?"

Fury blazed in Bakura dark eyes as be punched Marik in the face, sending him to the floor, knocking the knife out of his hands.

"Fucker!" the ivory spirit spat.

"That I am," Marik retorted, sitting up, licking the blood away as it trickled out of his nose. He stood up again, still grinning, "But I am no better then you. How many times have you taken the angel?"

Bakura growled again and tackled Marik. Marik fell hard to ground with Bakura on top of him. Bakura pinned the blond down with one hand and reached over for the knife with the other.

"No one touches my hikari without a price." Bakura said, looking at the sliver blade. Bakura grinned down at Marik; silent laughter still gleamed in the blond's eyes. Bakura drug the knife down to Marik pants. "Let's see how you like it."

Bakura stabbed the knife up into Marik. As strong and psychotic the blond was. He still couldn't help but to scream out. Bakura chuckled as he felt the warm blood trickle out over his hand. Bakura pulled the knife out and stabbed it into him again. Marik bit down hard on his lip as his face contorted in pain.

Bakura smirked and licked the blood from Marik's lip as he continued to stab the knife deeper into the blond. Bakura closed his eyes, enjoying the screams when he noticed a change. He opened them again to see that it was Malik instead of the darker side. Bakura stopped and looked down at Malik.

The blond sobbed as unbearable pain shot though him. He tried to stand it. He tried to tell himself that this was just his punishment for having broken his promise to Ryou. He deserved everything the spirit did to him.

Bakura pulled the knife out of Malik. His whole hand was covered in blood and it ran down his arm. He held the knife over Malik and a few drops of the crimson liquid dripped down onto Malik's face. He opened his lavender eyes to the spirit.

"Not as good as Ryou's" Bakura mused as he licked the blood off the blade. "But it serves well enough as a substitute."

"I tried... to stop him..." Malik winced.

"I bet you did," sneered Bakura, placing the blade to Malik's throat, "Now, where is he?"

"He... left." Malik choked out, "Bakura I'm sorry."

"So am I." Bakura said softly as he slit Malik's throat.

* * *

Ryou slumped down onto an empty bench in the park. He'd made it this far, but he couldn't go on any longer. He lay back on the bench and a single tear escaped his eye. It hurt so much, mostly in his heart. The real physical pain had numbed with the cold. His whole body seemed frozen.

"_It's easier to run_," Ryou sang softly to himself as he watched the light snow fall soundlessly around him, "_Replacing this pain with something numb..._"

Ryou closed his eyes and imagined he was still in the warm arms of Malik. He felt safe and secure with the blond, but there was still something missing. The image in Ryou's mind changed so that it was not Malik holding him, but Bakura. Ryou shook his head; he must have been knocked crazy to think such an absurd thought.

"_It's so much easier to go_," Ryou continued as he felt himself slipping into an unconscious sate "_This face all this pain here all alone..._"

* * *

Bakura sat outside on Malik's front steps. He slowly licked the blood of his hand as he thought. _Where would Ryou go?_ He thought to himself. He wouldn't go home, would he? Not with the way the spirit had been acting...

_"If I could change I would,"_ Bakura said quietly, _"Take back the pain I would..."_

If only he could say these words to Ryou... So much could have been done differently.

_"Retrace every wrong move that I made I would."_ Bakura sighed _"If I could stand up and take the blame I would."_

Bakura stood up and decided that sitting wasn't going to help him find his hikari any faster.

_"If I could take all the shame... to the grave..."_

* * *

**---Merry Christmas y'all!---**


	9. Lying From You

**---Done? Ha ha! I am far from done... there's so much more to write. Hehehe.**

**I hope everyone had good holidays. **

**No more killing in this story. Actually Malik/Marik wasn't even supposed to die in the original outline... but things change. And this was supposed to be my fluffy-no-one-die story. Ah well.**

**Disclaimer: I own you all!!!! (Not really)**

**Warnings: nothing I don't think...---**

* * *

**Chapter Nine  
****Lying From You**

The snow fell listlessly around Domino as the two ambled though the park. The smaller of the two leaned his head on the other, holding his companion's arm as they walked. Atemu looked down at Yugi, who was attached to his arm. He smiled.

"We should be heading home, aibou," Atemu said, watching his breath as he talked.

"Aw... but it's so beautiful out here," Yugi said, looking up at his yami.

"I know, but it's cold," said Atemu, "I don't want you to get sick, especially so close to... that holiday you keep talking about."

"Christmas, yami"

"Yeah that."

Yugi sighed and nuzzled into Atemu's arm again, but something caught his eye. He lifted his head and stopped. Atemu stopped also and glanced over his shoulder.

"What is it, aibou?"

Yugi didn't answer. He let go of Atemu's arm and walked over to the nearest bench. Atemu followed.

"Yugi?"

"It's Ryou," the hikari answered quietly. Atemu looked over Yugi's shoulder at the bench and indeed it was. The white haired teen was curled up on the bench, a thin layer of snow around him. "Is he still alive?"

"He seems to be breathing," said Atemu. He reached over and brushed the snowy hair away from his neck, feeling for a pulse. It was very faint.

"We've got to take him home," Yugi told his yami, "He'll freeze to death if he stays here."

"You're right Yugi," Atemu nodded. The two picked Ryou up carefully and carried him back to the game shop.

* * *

Ryou shivered. The cold penetrated everything, even his Soul Room. The room around him was dark; the walls black. The only light in the room was coming from the soft glow Ryou had. Most of the things in the room were broken, which fit perfectly with how he felt.

Ryou sat in the middle of the room, looking down at the broken piece of mirror in his hand. Several cuts were littered on both his arms, all self inflicted - punishments to himself for running again; for being weak.

Ryou didn't even flinch as he added another cut to his collection; he couldn't feel anything in this cold. He licked his lips as he watched the blood flow from the cut and down his arm. He brought his arm up to his mouth to lick away the blood and was surprised to feel the liquid in his mouth.

"Why isn't it cold like everything else?" He asked himself. He blinked as his whole body started to tingle with warmth. "What's going on?"

Ryou decided to check out what was going on outside his Soul Room.

* * *

The bed was cozy; the sheets and blankets warm against his frigid skin. Ryou opened his eyes and blinked them a few times, trying to adjust them to the light of the room. However, the light made his head hurt, so he just closed his eyes, snuggling deeper into the warmth. He felt the bed move as someone sat down beside him.

"Do you think he'll be ok?"

Ryou ears perked when he heard it was Yugi talking.

"Well, he's awake now," answered Atemu, "That's a good sign."

"Yeah," Yugi said, noticing Ryou stir. He leaned over his white haired friend, "Ryou?"

Ryou opened his again and kept them open, despite how heavy his eyelids felt. Yugi smiled down at him. Atemu stood over in the doorway.

"How do you feel?" Yugi asked quietly.

"... Cold..." Ryou whispered, but he didn't mind the cold. It numbed the pain so he could stand it much easier.

"I'm sorry Bakura did this to you."

"... Kura...?" Ryou closed his eyes. It seemed so long since he'd seen his darker half... so long since Bakura was the one that has hurt him. He felt an ache in his heart and he felt like crying again. "Not him..."

"Shh, Ryou it's ok," Yugi said comfortingly, "You don't need to lie anymore."

Ryou didn't answer to that. He just laid there with his eyes closed. He heard Yugi sigh.

"Come on, Aibou," Atemu said from the doorway, "He needs his rest."

Ryou felt Yugi get up off the bed and heard the door close. Ryou opened his eyes again, staring up at the ceiling. He had lied so much in his life that they didn't even believe him when he was telling the truth. Atemu was probably mad at Bakura now. Ryou frowned; Bakura hadn't really done anything this time.

Ryou felt sorry that Bakura was the one at fault when it was himself that had caused his own pain. Ryou sniffed and hid his face in the pillow. After a short time, he fell asleep again.

* * *

**---Awww? ---**


	10. Don't Stay

**---At last! The long awaited update. Sorry all for the wait, you know how it is when you lose all motivation to do something. **

**Well when I got around to start writing this again I was going to end it with this chapter and not how I was going to end it to begin with. However, that seemed unfair, considering you had to go three months with out anything and then just to end it. I am not that mean.**

**Well, I'd like to thank ToothyOne cause she was one of the major inspirations behind the whole 'lets start writing this again' thing. Thanks, because of you this story will not die!**

**Disclaimer: I own the Zion, the killer plot bunny who has been caged so he will not get away again before this is finish.**

**Warnings: Nothing---**

* * *

**Chapter Ten  
****Don't Stay**

"_I'm sorry Ryou, but you'd never believe me_."

It seemed so long since those words were spoken. They echoed now through Bakura's head. He wondered what difference it would have made if he had actually said them to Ryou. He wondered if none of this would have happened.

He stumbled through the thick snow. His legs were numb, and the rest of him felt that they would be the some soon. Bakura stopped in his tracks and looked up toward the sky. A small flurry was falling around him. The flakes reminded him of his hikaris soft hair.

Bakura frowned as he thought of Ryou. All the pain he had caused. At first, it was because he despised his counterpart and thought nothing of him other then a pawn. Yet over time that changed. A small part of him started to care for the boy. Now, that his hikari was gone, he felt like he had failed him somehow.

Bakura sighed and continued on, a single tear falling from his eyes.

* * *

Ryou lay on his side facing away from the door staring at the wall in front of him. He heard the door open but paid no attention to it. He already knew who it was.

Atemu had come in occasionally to try to talk to him. Ryou found that if he ignored him long enough Atemu would leave without any of his questions answered.

"Ryou?"

He did not stir. Atemu tried again but when there was still no answer, he sighed. The door closed and Ryou rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

"I know you're awake."

Ryou looked over at the former pharaoh, but did not say anything. Atemu had a bowl of soup in his hands and stern look on his face.

"You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry," Ryou said quietly.

Atemu crossed the room and set the bowl down on the small table by the bed. He knelt down beside Ryou, placing a gentle hand on his arm. His skin was still frigid.

"I know you're not ready to talk yet. Nevertheless I am here for you whenever you are ready," Atemu said staring into Ryou's glossy eyes, "But, please, you need to eat something."

"I'm not hungry," Ryou repeated.

Atemu closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This was very frustrating, but he did not want to show it.

"I just want to be alone," Ryou was shaking. Tears fell from his eyes.

"Ryou," Atemu tried to calm him, "I'm just worried about you."

Ryou let out a small sob and turned away from him.

"Don't stay…" he said barely above a whisper.

"What?" Atemu wanted to make sure he heard the other correctly.

"Don't stay…"

Ryou had his eyes shut tightly to stop the tears. He heard Atemu sigh again and his soft foot steps as he headed to the door and left the room.

Ryou rolled over once again, gazing at the bowl of soup. Steam rose gracefully from the bowl. Ryou sat up slowly, reaching for it. The warm bowl felt like it was burning against his frozen skin. As he stared down at the soup, just the thought of eating churned his stomach unpleasantly. He sighed, picking up the spoon and forcing him self to eat anyway.

**

* * *

**

**---LIVE!---**


	11. Papercut

**---Another update! Sadly, another short chapter. Damn you short chapters. Well… Stuff. **

**Disclaimer: I own notta a thing**

**Warnings: Attempted Suicide (I wonder who?)---**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven  
****Papercut**

There was a bathroom connected to the room Ryou had been placed. Ryou knelt in front of the toilet. He had felt sick after only a few spoonfuls of soup. He stomach churned violently.

He leaned back, crawling into a corner of the bathroom next to the sink. He sobbed quietly to himself although no tears fell. He had no tears left. He had nothing. He felt weaker and emptier then he had ever felt in his life. He did not know what to do. He did not know what to think. He only felt emptiness and pain and he wanted it to stop.

Ryou raised his hands to lift himself up. He wanted to return to his bed before Atemu came back. Placing one hand on the sink and one on the tile wall beside him he used all his strength to pull. He hand slipped on the sink knocking a few things over, he fell back down. Bottles rolled into the sink, while some of them clattered to the floor. A disposable razor fell right in front of Ryou.

Ryou stared at the razor as he listened, waiting to see if anyone had heard the noise. As soon as he was sure no one was coming, he reached for the razor. Grasping it in his hand he felt a serge run through him. He studied it carefully, single blade, plastic covering, it could easily be broken, and it looked brand new.

Ryou snapped the plastic, holding the small medal blade in his fingers. Glancing at his arm, he remembered how hard it had been to cut. The time he was determined. He flipped his arm over gazing at the faint blue line on his wrist. A small smile spread a cross his face as he placed the razor to his skin.

He drug the razor quickly cross his wrist. His hand twitched as pain shot through him, but he did not care, it was dull to him. He slashed at his skin a few more times, the razor blade was not as sharp as the knife he had had at Malik's house.

After a few more cuts, he looked back at his wrist. A few beads of blood had formed on the wounds. It was not enough. He wanted more. He wanted it all. He wanted to spill all his blood. Focusing all his thoughts on the task, he replaced the razor and dug in as hard as he could.

* * *

Bakura stopped again. Ryou's mental defenses had been dropped. His thoughts flooded into Bakura. Pain ran through him like his own blood. 

…_Ryou…_

There was no answer. Bakura quickly scanned his hikaris thoughts. It was hard; there were so many coming at him so fast. He saw the darkness, the pain, the blood that enveloped the hikaris soul.

Soon he made it through the thoughts. Bakura found there was nothing left. Ryou was completely empty, save for one thought… _spill all his blood._

Bakura found that Ryou was at Atemu's. Luckily he was not far himself. His feet must have been carrying him there subconsciously.

He ran as fast as he could through the thick snow. He had to get there. He had to see his hikari again before…

Bakura soon arrived on the Pharaoh's doorstep. He pounded on the door feverishly. Atemu answered.

"Bakura!" he sneered, "You have some nerve. You come here after all you have done. After all you put Ryou through. Give me one good reason why I should not banish you to the farthest depths of the Shadow Realm right—"

"Shut up Pharaoh!" Bakura yelled Atemu fell silent, "Let me see Ryou!"

Bakura tried to push past Atemu, but he was stopped.

"I'm not letting you in, Bakura," Atemu growled holding Bakura back, "I'm not letting you near Ryou. It's too late."

Bakura took a step back. Atemu saw his lip tremble.

"If you don't let me in," Bakura said slowly his face saddened, "It will be…"

* * *

**---Too late?---**


	12. From the Inside

**---Shyness is right, short chapters is better then no updates at all. **

**You had Zion Mikari? That is where my killer plot bunny ran off too. Bad Zion! Oh, I cannot stay mad at you Zion (_huggles_)**

**Warnings: none**

**Disclaimer: I just realized that Whose Line might not have a disclaimer, oh well, no one cares about them really---**

**Chapter Twelve  
****From the Inside**

Atemu stood stunned at what Bakura had said. The white haired spirit took this opportunity to get past the Pharaoh and into the house.

"Where is he?" Bakura asked quickly, "Where's my hikari?"

"Since when did you care?" Atemu asked.

"I've always cared," Bakura snarled.

"Doesn't look like it," said Atemu, "From what I've seen it looks like you only care about yourself."

"If I only cared about myself I wouldn't be here would I?"

"I've seen what you've done to him Bakura."

"What I've done?" Bakura growled, "That wasn't me… I would never… Not since… It was…"

Bakura was unable to form a complete sentence to explain himself.

"I'm not going to let you see him!"

"You're going to let me see my fucking hikari or I'm going to kill you too!"

Before Atemu had a chance to retort Yugi walked in to see what all the yelling was about. Bakura rounded on the small youth.

"Where's Ryou?" he asked, he knew he would get an answer from him.

"Up stairs," Yugi squeaked, "But—"

Bakura didn't wait to hear what Yugi had to say. He took off quickly to the stairs.

"Bakura"

Atemu ran after the white haired spirit, closely followed by his counterpart. Bakura stopped outside a door; he could feel his hikaris presences inside. He opened the door and the three looked in but Ryou was nowhere to be seen.

"The bathroom…" Atemu whispered. They walked over to it. The door was ajar. Bakura placed a hand on the door, opening it slowly to reveal the small hikari. He was curled up in a ball on the cool tile floor. Blood stains where easily visible on his clothes and on the floor. His eyes were open and glossed over in pain. Bakura could feel the terrible thoughts battling each other in the youths mind.

Yugi gasped at the sight. He turned away with tears in his eyes. Atemu wrapped his arms around his counterpart, trying to comfort him.

"Pharaoh, clean this up, fix him…" Bakura closed his eyes.

"What are you doing?"

"Something I should have done long ago…"

Bakura disappeared into the Millennium Ring.

* * *

Standing outside Ryou's door Bakura wondered what he would find on the other side. He had never seen his hikaris Soul Room before. He had never wanted too before now. There were so many secrets hiding inside the room, so many things about the light Bakura did not know. Bakura took a deep breath and opened the door.

The first thing Bakura noticed was the strong scent of blood in the room. The walls were black and splattered with bloodstains. A bookshelf stood in the corner of the room. Filled with books with black bindings by some people named Edger Allen Poe and Stephen King. Other books, such as Redwall, had been ripped up and thrown to the floor, along with some broken picture frames that had once contained pictures of Ryou's friends.

A desk stood by Bakura, cluttered with papers. The spirit picked some up he saw they were all poems written in red ink.

_I don't know who to trust_

_No surprise_

_Everyone feels so far away from me_

_Heavy thoughts sift through the dust_

_And the lies_

Bakura placed the papers back and continued to look around the room. The Millennium Ring hung above the desk, tarnished, blood slowly trickled down the wall over it from a crack near the ceiling. A crossed the room hung a broken mirror, blood slowly dripped from that as well.

Everything in the room was black, save for the Millennium Ring, the mirror and, of course, Ryou.

The young hikari seemed to shine brightly in the dimly lit room. He faced away from the door. Bakura stood for a moment watching the light. He never realized how much his hikari meant to him, and how close he was to losing him. He needed to do something.

"Ryou, I'm sorry…"

Bakura heard something clatter to the floor. Ryou turned to him, staring at him with sunken eyes. The lights eyes looked as empty as they both felt.

"…For everything."

"Why must you continue to hurt me," Ryou said turning away from the spirit again.

"I don't want to hurt you, hikari," Bakura said walking into the room.

"Then why did it take you so long to come?" Ryou asked slowly, "Why didn't you come before it was too late?"

"It's not too late."

"It is for me…" the hikari sighed, "I have nothing left…"

"Not true," Bakura knelt down and wrapped his arms around Ryou, "You have me…"

**---(_Sits in a big black throne holding Zion while laughing evilly_)**

**I love Ryou's Soul Room---**


	13. In the End

**---I am ending this quicker then I expected, but I need to get this over with. This has gone on unfinished for to long. Plus, I'm trying to finish up all my stories so I don't have to worry about them when I'm writing my book. That is right! I am writing a book. I hope to be published by next summer. Isn't that grand?**

**Warnings: Nothing.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it.---**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen  
****In the End**

Atemu carefully laid Ryou down, standing over his bed. Yugi sat on the edge of the bed as they both watched and waited patiently.

Ryou made no movement of any kind. A grim look crossed Atemu's features. Yugi noticed it.

"What if it's too late?" Yugi voiced the question that was on both their minds. Atemu did not answer; there was no way to answer the question.

Silence fell over them as they waited. They were not sure what they were waiting for, but any sign that Ryou was going to be all right would have eased their minds. A lifetime seemed to pass before Bakura appeared again.

"He's going to be well," Bakura said solemnly. Yugi smiled.

"That's good," Atemu said with a small smile that quickly faded, "You didn't do this to him…"

"Would I save him if I had?"

"Then who?"

"Marik," Bakura said simply. He did not need to say anymore, they all knew what the blonde was capable of. Bakura reached out, stroking Ryou's head softly. "I never thought I'd be saying this to you Pharaoh… but, thank you."

Atemu raised an eyebrow curiously at the spirit, but without another word Bakura lifted Ryou into his arms and left.

* * *

A year had past since Malik's untimely death. A familiar snow fell around the young teen as he stood before a small gravestone. The soft flakes caught in his long white hair, making it shimmer in the setting sun.

It had been a tough year for Ryou. Everything had changed so fast, it was hard for him to deal with it. He was slowly recovering. Nevertheless, there was one thing he could not let go.

"_I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter,_" Ryou sang quietly as he knelt in the snow in front of Malik's grave, "_I had to fall, and lose it all, but in the end, it doesn't even matter_."

"Ryou."

Ryou stopped singing when he felt a pair of arms clasp him from behind.

"Come, its cold."

"Bakura…" Ryou whispered, "He was the only person I could love."

"I know, Ryou," Bakura said nuzzling Ryou's soft hair, "I know."

"I didn't even get to give myself to him," Ryou said, "You took that away from me."

"I only did that to protect you."

"What?"

"I took you so no one else could," Bakura said, "Like Marik."

"Thank you, yami."

"You're welcome, hikari," Bakura sighed, "Now come, Atemu invited us over for hot coco."

"Ok."

Bakura let go of Ryou and they stood up. Bakura took Ryou's hand into his own and they walked together into the sunset.

**FIN**

* * *

**---well that's it, there is no more---**


End file.
